Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I stole a fireplace last night.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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