can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
