Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
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