lets start a swedish sibling band together
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
