wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
