I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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