I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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