Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
it's like iHOP with fire
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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