Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
