Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Who put my cat in the fridge?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
