I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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