I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
