everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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