New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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