I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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