i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
My vagina just clenched in fear
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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