I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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