Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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