Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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