How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
