Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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