Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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