he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
