...so i touched it.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize