Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
