At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Randomize
