ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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