just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
