I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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