So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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