so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
