Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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