tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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