What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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