Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
