Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize