I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Everything about him screamed your future.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
