I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize