Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
