remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize