physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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