Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
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