That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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