You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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