he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
