Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I think a kid would responsible me up
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
