this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
