my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
