I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
