My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
