hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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