Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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