I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
