Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Randomize
