Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
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There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
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you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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