I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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