You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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