the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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