i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I just cut my nipple shaving
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I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
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Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
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