This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
