I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
