i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
wrigley field is MILF paradise
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
