I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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