I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
